
Once upon a time there was a boy named Matt. Matt Brittingham. He was from L.A. He had long, red curly hair. He loved God and his fellow man.
He noticed a girl named Ashley at RUF events. She had recently come to his apartment to watch a zombie movie with all his friends, and they watched it in a Mickey Mouse blanket tent.
Eventually he talked to Steve, his Advisor In All Things. “Should I ask her out?” Matt questioned.
“Hmmmm,” said Steve. “Be careful. But go ahead.”
So Matt did. Ashley told him she would get back to him.
He waited.
And waited.
Ashley finally asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee. He did.
Ashley told Mom. Mom told Dad. Mom warned Dad that a couple things about Matt’s appearance might bother him. “Does he have a piercing?” Dad asked through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” Mom replied with a gentle smile.
“One ear?” Dad probed.
“Both,” Mom countered.
“More?” Dad continued, grimacing.
“Lip,” responded Mom, breathing a sigh of relief. “And,” Mom added, “he seems to be a man who loves God and his fellow man.”
Interruption: When Matt got his ears pierced, his mom told him he needed to call his grandma and tell her before he came to visit. So he did:
“Grandma, I got my ears pierced, ” Matt admitted.
Silence.
“Are you gay?” Grandma inquired.
“No, Grandma. I loveeeeeee women.”
Later, Mom and Dad went to Indigo Bridge Books to hear Pastor T talk about something Mom can’t remember. Ashley found out Matt would be there, and warned Mom.
Mom recognized Matt, and went and introduced herself. Dad seemed content where he was at. Mom grabbed Dad’s arm and brought him to Matt and introduced them. Dad shook his hand, and went and sat down away from Matt. Mom saw Steve, Matt’s Advisor In All Things, at the Talk She Doesn’t Remember. Mom asked Steve what the skinny was on this boy, Matt. Steve said Matt was a good kid. Mom was relieved.
After a few cups of coffee with Ashley, Matt needed to talk to Ashley’s father. When he came to his house, Dad was doing a desk installation in the family room, and didn’t get up to greet him. From all appearances, Dad seemed to be avoiding Matt. Ashley’s three younger sisters did not avoid Matt. Rebecca, Ashley’s youngest sister, brought Matt her favorite book about sharks. She loved it because it showed how different blood-thirsty sea creatures attacked humans. Blood flowed freely. Matt liked it and read it with Rebecca for quite some time. Mom smiled.
Matt continued his friendly manner, and eventually asked Dad if he could speak to him privately.
Matt asked if he could date Ashley. Dad said he wasn’t interested in his daughter casually dating, and Matt only need to apply if he was interested in dating Ashley to determine if she might be the woman he may want to marry someday.
Matt agreed to the terms.
Ashley, Katherine, and Mom jumped up and down on the front porch, screeching like lunatics. Mom’s jumping and screeching was more dignified than the younger two. However, Mom had to participate, because Ashley’s enthusiasm is contagious.
To be continued…